I Didn't Make This!
by Celestique is Elentiya
Summary: A collection of one-shots (mostly Captain Swan) based off various moments from different movies, plays, books, shows and etc. Slightly inspired from the youtube webseries(es) called "I Didn't Write This!" And "Kissing in the Rain". Originally a single oneshot called 'You Sneaky Son of a-'
1. You Sneaky Son of a-!

**A/N: Yes, I have finally written another fanfic. My first OUAT fanfic. This was based off Phoebus and Esmeralda's 'accidental' meeting in the Church from the Disney movie 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame.' (I still wonder to this very day how the hell Disney got away with making such a movie.) I originally thought to make this a Snowing fanfic but I think they already had a similar situation in the canon. Also this is a little bit of an AU.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time and I don't own The Hunchback of Notre Dame. (All versions.)**

**You Sneaky Son of a-!**

Emma Swan took one deep breath as she removed the large blanket covering both her and her son, Henry. Both of them followed the person who Emma assumed- no, _knew_ was Henry's father.

Neal Cassidy.

It was odd though, why would he choose to go to a cathedral- of all places? Did he find out that he was being followed or was he just religious?

She decided that it was the former instead of the latter. Neal didn't seem that religious to her.

"Mom?" Henry whispered, knowing that he was in a place of God. A place that didn't require loud noise. Emma quickly shushed him, mouthing to him that she heard something.

The two were hidden behind one of the multiple gigantic pillars that surrounded the cathedral and held it. She motioned for Henry to stay out of sight while she investigated.

She gazed in awe as she saw the magnificence of the place. The airy atmosphere left her in wonder. The beautiful architecture, the hymns echoing the walls, the loud sound of boots-

What?

She felt as if someone was behind her. The noise the shoes made gave it away. She closed her eyes and timed her movements. When the person behind her tried to reach out to her, she turned in an instant and took the sword from the hilt then pulled him down without a second to lose. She faced him, bending down, the stranger's sword held tightly under her grip as she walked towards him while he tried to scurry away.

"You." She seethed. The man seemed familiar, but she refused to let her guard down.

Words sprouted from his mouth instantly as he crawled his way next to one of the candlesticks. "Easy, easy." He said. "I just shaved this morning." He blabbered on.

In all honesty, she would have laughed at his face. He acted so ridiculous, so ludicrous.

"Oh really?" She questioned, intimidation layering her words as the blade neared his chest. "You missed a spot." Her tone menacing.

"Alright, alright." He told her as he leaned against one of the pillars. The sword now close to his neck.

Does he always repeat the first word he says? She wondered to herself.

"Calm down, just give me a chance to apologize." He quickly added, showing her his hands. A gesture of surrender.

She still didn't trust this man. Emma Swan kept the blade up to his chin. Applying some amount of pressure. "For what?" She questioned.

She didn't notice it, but as she spoke those two small words, the stranger quickly grabbed hold of the blade. When she finished that phrase, he snatched it from her and pushed her back.

"That, for example." He replied, a smirk obvious in his features.

Of course, she was quick to reply. "You sneaky son of a-"

The man cut her off with those 'ah, ah, ah's people used to warn someone. "Watch it. You're in a church."

She wanted to throttle him so badly.

Emma stood up and took a nearby candlestick. "Are you always this charming or am I just lucky?" Sarcasm practically dripping from the sentence.

She swung the makeshift weapon towards him, but he was ready to respond with his sword to parry the attack. She gritted her teeth and tried another swing. But he blocked it easily.

He dodged every single one of her attacks.

The man chuckled. "Ha, ha, ha! Candlelight, privacy, music. Can't think of a better place for hand-to-hand combat." She noticed an open spot and attempted another lunge.

"Oof!" He evaded it without a second to lose. She frowned. Did she already meet her match?

"You fight almost as well as a man." If Emma didn't know better, she would have thought that his voice held a hint of admiration.

Her retort came almost at once. "Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you." Their weapons met once more and her patience was lowering.

The stranger backed away. "That's hitting a little below the belt, don't you think?" She noted that his weapon was down and she tried to take another opportunity. A smug smirk covered her face.

"No. This is." She swung one end of the stick to his crotch, but he blocked it with his sword in return. Then, Emma hit him in the face with the other end of the staff.

His face was blank for a moment from the surprise attack. But he shook it off and grinned momentarily. "Touche." Was his only reply.

Just then, a book was thrown to the man's chest too fast for him to block. He looked at where it came from and saw Henry.

"Didn't know you had a kid." He muttered.

Emma moved away from him slowly. "Oh, he doesn't take to kindly to guards."

He held on to the injured away and groaned. "I noticed." Emma expected a snarky reply or an attack, instead however, he just bowed at her. "Permit me, I'm Killian. Killian Jones. It means," he shrugged, "bright-headed."

She wasn't too impressed. But now that she got a clearer and better look at this Killian, she had to admit, he looked quite attractive.

Not that she would say it out loud.

She looked at Henry, who came out once the fighting subsided, then back at Killian who still didn't get a reply.

"And you are?-"

She still held the candlestick. "Is this an interrogation?"

Killian returned his sword to it's hilt. His voice sounded calmer now. Maybe it was because there may have been less chance of her murdering him. "It's called an **introduction**, love."

Did he seriously call her _love_? How cliché.

Her mind took in the rest of what he said. And she was surprised. Not in a pleasant way however. "Wait a minute, you're not arresting me?" She asked.

Killian motioned to Henry then their surroundings. "First of all, you have a child. Second, as long as you're in here, I can't."

"You're not at all like the other guards…" Her voice trailed off. She was very suspicious. Either way, she put the candlestick back.

He just nodded. "Thank you."

Emma walked towards him and crossed her arms the minute she was right in front of him. "So… What do you want?"

"I'd settle for your name."

He's as smooth as- She shook her head. Refusing to accept that she was thinking like that.

A minute passed and she remembered that he was waiting for a response.

"Emma Swan." She smiled softly as she uttered her name. She wasn't treated like an equal for quite some time. It felt nice.

"Beautiful." Killian breathed out. Henry then moved silently to his mother's side. He looked at Killian then Emma.

Noting the child's awkward staring, Killian shrugged. "Much better than Killian, anyway." He smiled back at her and he noticed that her smile grew. It glowed in his opinion.

She looked absolutely beautiful. And he wanted to kiss her.

After a few minutes of silence and eyesex and slowing moving closer to each other, the door flew open.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Please review! **

**Also, I'm planning on making this a collection of one-shots that have similar theme. Romantic Disney moments. Hell, I may even find a good scene for Outlaw Queen or Snowing. If you want to suggest a Disney scene, feel free to review! I really just need more of Outlaw Queen and Captain Swan after that finale. And basically I just need the entire Season 4 already.**

**Until next time! **


	2. Ma Belle Abigail

**A/N: So I did end up making this a series of oneshots! I've decided too that each oneshot will be based off a fluffy or cute scene from various books, movies, plays, shows and etc. too. So if you have something to suggest, feel free to review!**

**This takes place in the Season Finale. And I have tried my best to insert this oneshot in said scene.**

**This is based off the 'Ma Belle Evangeline' scene from Disney's The Princess and the Frog.**

**Disclaimer: The title of this fanfic is "I Didn't Make This!" meaning, I didn't make the show or the original scene. **

**Ma Belle Abigail**

He dropped the invitation onto the tray and they both felt a small wave of relief. So far, their plan was going well and they weren't detected... Yet.

"Just when I thought the clothes here couldn't get any worse." She whispered to him. Obviously uncomfortable in her dress. Which was highly likely, considering Emma Swan never had to wear a gown before.

And of course, he saw a chance to compliment her. And he took it. "Well you may not be able to move, Swan." He said as they walked through the crowd. "But you cut quite the figure in that dress."

She grinned and planned to say something in response to that when they were suddenly called.

Crap.

"Greetings, I'm King Midas. Father of the bride." King Midas introduced himself, not that they needed an introduction. The two already knew who he was. "Who do I have the honor to welcome into my home?" He asked.

"I'm uhm-" Hook started, unsure what to say next. He swallowed, nervous. "I'm uhm Prince-" He groaned.

"Charles." Emma interrupted, saying the name of the first Prince that came to her mind. "Prince Charles." She stated. "And I'm Princess..." Her voice trailed off. Unable to think of a Princess name that wasn't part of a fairy tale.

She took even longer than Hook.

"Leia." She breathed out, relieved to finally think of an alias. Then she curtsied, Hook followed her lead with a bow.

King Midas nodded at them. "An honor to have you both." He told the two, smiling slightly. "Announce Prince Charles and Princess Leia." He ordered one of his servants. A man whom Emma thought looked ridiculous with his Rococo Era-esque wig and terrible looking robes. But she couldn't say that aloud.

The servant just bowed to his King and left.

**_They were nearly caught._**

She thought as she and Hook entered the ballroom. There were people wearing robes and gowns of different colors. Dancing as music filled the air.

"Mary-Margaret and David are always going on about this ball and that ball." Emma whispered as she and 'Prince Charles' navigated themselves through the almost full room. "What's the big deal about these things?" She questioned, feeling slightly bemused as to why she was asking a pirate that question. Surely he never attended a ball either?

Killian said nothing as he brought her to the near middle of the room, where all the dancers were. All of them moving to the song, it seemed magical. Emma just stood in awe, shocked. She wanted to take back what she said. They did seem magnificent.

She didn't even notice him chuckle and whisper back to her, "You were saying?".

How she wanted to slap that smug smirk off his face, but she was still entranced by the spectacle. She watched as the female dancers twirled, their hands being held up high by their male counterparts. It looked so... So...

So _elegant_.

She didn't know how to do 'elegant.' "What am I supposed to do?" She asked him, still not taking her eyes off the dancers.

"Blend in." He answered, smiling slightly, as he took her hand and dragged her to the middle of the room.

She just looked at him at first. Quite surprised by his answer. "Wait." She said; "Are you saying that you know how to do whatever this is?" She inquired, curious, as he brought her to the middle.

"It's called a waltz." Hook specified as he fixed their positions. His left hand holding her right hand upwards and his other hand on her waist while her free hand was on his right shoulder. "There's only one rule." He told her, "Keep in mind, your partner knows what he's doing." He said as he moved to his right in some sort of swaying motion.

Her lip quirked upward to a smile and she let him take the lead.

And he simply grinned.

And before she knew it, she got the hang of this waltz.

* * *

Suddenly, the music ceased and so did the dance. Emma frowned, disappointed that it was over.

"Sorry for the interruption." A voice echoed the halls, a voice all too familiar.

David. She turned her head in an instant to where she assumed the voice came from, and sure enough, there was David. Her father.

"But we have another song to play." David told everyone. "A song for my beloved fiancé-" He looked at Princess Abigail with a look that seemed to try to say the he loved her, though Emma saw right through it. "Princess Abigail."

An instrument started playing, a violin. And she heard singing, but it wasn't from David.

Figures. Emma thought to herself.

'_Look how she lights up the sky_

_Ma Belle Abigail-_'

She heard someone scoff and mutter something along the lines of 'It's obvious that he doesn't love her.' But before the stranger could say even more, his partner nudged him and whispered a shhh!

'_So far above me yet I_

_Know her heart belongs to only me._'

She agreed with the stranger. It was blatantly obvious that David didn't love Abigail. But it wasn't like she could say anything.

'_Je t'adore-_'

**French, really? The French language exists ****_here?_** Emma's thoughts said.

"I adore you." Hook stated. And she was now surprised, why did he start sprouting that out?.

'_Je t'aime-_'

"I love you." He said straight after. She shot him a questioning look, but he just gave a wry grin. "Just translating." He told her.

She hardly believed that. Hook- of all people, can speak French? She could have laughed at the thought.

'_You're my queen of the night_

_So still, so bright_

_The someone as beautiful as she_

_Could love someone like me._'

Slowly, Emma noticed, everyone started dancing again. Hook grasped her hand tightly, and she squeezed it back. Then he motioned for them to dance again.

She shook her head. This was too intimate. Too romantic for her. "I can't dance." She lied, though she knew that was useless. She danced with him just a few minutes ago.

Instead of forcing her, he just smiled- amused. "If I can use a gun, then you can dance." He told her. He wasn't making her dance, he just said that she could.

'_Love always finds a way_

_It's true!_

_And I love you_

_Abigail._'

She nearly groaned, but instead, she gave in. And this time, it felt different. Somehow smoother, easier. She even started to calm down. And soon enough, she felt as if they were the only people in the room.

She felt like she was truly in a fairy tale.

That was way too cliché.

'_Love is beautiful_

_Love is wonderful_

_Love is everything_

_Do you agree?_

_Mais oui!_'

The music slowed down even more and Killian Jones tilted Emma Swan back. He even closed his eyes for extra emphasis. Honestly, he was enjoying himself in this moment.

He wanted to stay this way, but at the same time it felt... Weird.

'_Look how she lights up the sky-_'

He opened his eyes and looked straight into hers'. Her eyes were gleaming, and she was just beautiful. She took his breath away. He was speechless.

'_I love you, Abigail._'

He pulled her forward and it took all his willpower not to kiss her.

* * *

The waltz came back. It wasn't anymore that love song for Abigail. He grinned at her as they waltzed.

She rolled her eyes in the typical Emma Swan fashion. "Watch the mocking, I'm actually getting the hang of this." She muttered to him, pride welling inside her.

"I'm not mocking you, Swan. I was thinking about what you said in Storybrooke." He told her as he twirled her and knelt down. "About not being a princess." He clarified.

"Really?" She said, walking around him. "You get my first dance at my first royal ball and all you can say is _I told you so_?" She questioned in disbelief and pulled him up.

"I believe what I'm trying to say, Your Highness-" He replied with a bow. "Is that you appear to be a natural." He stated, in a tone that seemed to say 'this is a fact.'.

Her dad caught Emma's eye. He disappeared sometime during the song, and she was curious to where he went. "There's Charming." She told Killian, hoping to change the topic.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Don't forget to favorite, follow and review! :3 Flames and reviews are much appreciated! Also, I don't ship Charming/Abigail, I only made the song _Ma Belle Abigail_ because I thought that it would seem more suitable for the situation and all. :)**


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